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past tense of william shakespeare? william shookspeare
Wouldiwas Shookspeared
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(via perks-of-being-chinese)
Me at school.
(via zackisontumblr)
- me, 15 years old: i want a job so i can make my own money
- parents: what do u need money for?? also u cant have a job, u need to focus on ur education
- me: ok can i have some money then
- parents: u know when I was ur age, i had been working for at least 2 years of my life trying to help the rest of my family...
- me: ???o k then can i have a jo b???????
- parents: absolutely not u need to focus on schoolwork. u have ur whole life to work right now u need to worry about school
- me: ???????can u buy me this thing then??????
- parents: kids nowadays. “buy me this, buy me that.” when i was 17 i had to buy my own car to get a job and pay for my own college--
- me: :::)))))))))))))))))
funny story
One time when I was coming home, my mom was trying to park her car. She asked me if she was straight and I turned back to her and answered, “well, I don’t know what straight feels like” Needless to say, she didn’t get it.
This.
funny story
Growing up I went to a Catholic school and when we went to Mass as a school the older kids sat with the younger kids to keep them out of trouble (Because Mass is about an hour long and can get pretty boring for a six-year-old). When my sister was in eighth grade she was in charge of one of the kindergarteners and as they were walking from the school building over to the church he said to her, “Pssst! Can I tell you a secret?” and she said, “Sure, what is it?” and he said, “Did you know that even little boys like me have sperm?” My sister was pretty mortified at this point and didn’t really know what to do so she just said, “Uhh let’s not talk about this right now.” And the little guy just goes “What? Don’t you like sperm?”
funny story
i fucked up. my drama teacher arranged for our class to attend a slam poetry workshop to learn about emotion and expression. the lecturer made us do an exercise that required us to be in partners. in this exercise, one person says “I love you” and the other replies with “No, you don’t”, and you do that in as many different ways as you can. everyone was mildly uncomfortable to be saying “I love you” to a classmate. Our class ships my partner and I, so we were possibly the most uncomfortable. The teacher says “Alright, when the mood feels right and the connection is there, go ahead and start.”
the room is quiet. my partner says “I love you”. I panic and reply “I love you, too”.
i will never live that down
funny story
When I was 9 or so, I’d spent a lil bit too much time on the internet. Because of how vulgar everyone is online, I’d picked up a few words that weren’t exactly appropriate for a 9 year old to say.
One day, my little sister and I got into a big fight and wanting to hit her where it hurts, I used a word I had learned from my interweb adventures.
Little did I know, calling your sister a twat was NOT the same thing as calling her a jerk or meanie. Even more mortifying, my mother was in the room and when asked where I’d learned that word from, my only answer was iCarly. And thats the story of how I was banned from watching iCarly.
The fact that her mom believed she got the word twat from iCarly.😂